


Happily Ever After

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003), Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: April Showers Challenge 2011
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-16
Updated: 2003-03-16
Packaged: 2017-10-18 01:31:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><i>Or, what if a slasher who wanted nothing more than to get her favorite pairing in bed *right* *now*, wrote LOTR</i></p>
    </blockquote>





	Happily Ever After

**Author's Note:**

> _Or, what if a slasher who wanted nothing more than to get her favorite pairing in bed *right* *now*, wrote LOTR_

  
For a wise old man, Gandalf could be awfully forgetful at times. No sooner than the Fellowship been formed, Aragorn remarked idly, "didn't an eagle owe you a favor?" Gandalf had smacked his head and performed various other expressions of astonishment before whistling long and hard. Out from the South flew Gwaihir, lord of the Eagles.

"Gwaihir, my old friend," Gandalf said, 'charm' setting turned all the way up. "How would you like to ferry me and two hobbit friends to Oroduin?" And with a smile to the assembled elves, dwarves, and assorted men, Gandalf mounted Gwaihir (but not in a way inherantly sexual as the author is not in any way shape or form into bestiality, though she is not passing judgment on those who are, or beasts who enjoy being mounted in that way, or...yeah, she's shutting up now) and, with Sam and Frodo, winged off into the sunset to get rid of that damned ring far more expediantly than the other way around.

"Finally," Boromir said and turned to Aragorn. "Can I jump you now?"

"Certainly," was the only word heard out of the erstwhile Heir of Isildur before his voice was muffled by Boromir's lips on his. Not that he was complaining. Over the next few minutes, the people around them mysteriously vanished, leaving the two of them alone to moan each other's names (and titles, and other names, and other titles, and, oh what the hell, this is *Aragorn* we're talking about) as loud as they wished without waking the neighbors.

Gandalf and the gay hobbits returned the next day, none the worse for wear after having defeated the Greatest Evil to Attack Middle Earth This Trilogy (tm). Aragorn and Boromir immediatly set out on a ~~shag session~~ journey to Gondor where Aragorn could take his throne and then Boromir...or maybe not in that order, you can never tell with horny Numenoreans, after all. Ah, well. Suffice to say that during the two month journey, no tavern maids or whores were assulted by either one of the duo, and lots of KY was consumed with no thought as to the huge plot hole that constructed. So sluts were safe while Aragorn and Boromir shagged through the nights it took them to reach the...

White City. Big place. Lotsa gates. Lotsa people. Lotsa little, hiddenaway rooms where no one could find them. 'Nuff said. And Denethor had the grace to die before they came, which led to Aragorn comforting a distraught Boromir and maybe Faramir as well, these Numenoreans are quite promiscuous after all.

Aragorn was crowned with great pomp and circumstance (but no graduation marches, sadly enough) and Arwen sailed overseas with Elrond, quite happy with the Lothlorien Triplets. And no one ever died, so there was no cause for angst. Instead, Aragorn and Boromir shagged well into the night, and day, and night again, for there were no troubles to disturb the king and keep him from Boromir's bed.

And they all lived happily ever after.


End file.
